I was completely unprepared to go natural. I did not know anything about hair type or texture. I did not know a thing about porosity or styling. All I knew was that my hair refused to grow back after giving birth to my baby girl.
I also knew I wanted more for my daughter than appointments every two weeks at a salon. She should not have to worry about scheduling fresh relaxers around major events, and most importantly, she should not have to purchase the hair she wished was actually growing out of her own head. I wanted her curls to highlight her beauty without defining it.
Yet, children learn more from what they see than what I could ever say so I had to do it for her. I had to go natural for her. I wanted better for her...so I wore sewn-in weaves for a year, and then I chopped it off. Well, I chopped off what was left of it.
I did not love it immediately. Do not get me wrong. Some days I loved it. Other days, I could not wait for it to grow out like all those beautiful naturalistas I saw on my Instagram feed.
However, I never considered turning back because she needed it. She needed to know she could be beautiful rocking the curls growing out of her head naturally...and so did I.
Four years in, here we are still rocking curls and loving them much more than in the beginning - not because our hair is longer but because sometimes self-love is learned. I had to reprogram my own standards of beauty. I had to see my curls were just as beautiful as her curls and as her straight hair because I did not know at first. But now I do.